That Game where Beyonce is Performing

Hey Gang-
So today is Super Bowl Sunday! I've been looking forward to this day ALL YEAR. That's right, the entire 2013 all the way up to February 3rd the only thing that's been on my mind is dudes running up and down a field in tight, spandex, cropped pants. Heeey! Nothing gives me more pleasure than watching football, hearing my dad yell at the TV, and placing bets on who is going to walk away with the Championship.

Have I laid enough sarcasm down for you? :-)

It's really not all bad. I mean, for instance, me and the girls at work were talking this week about teams, and since our home team, The Texans, aren't in it, we were going over reasons for the teams we're backing. After a long, exhausting session of Google Image searching for photos of the Quarterbacks, I've decided to go for the Ravens. Here are my knowledge-based nonsensical reasons:

• The Raven's colors are purple, yellow, and black (totes fierce) so I def have to root for them. The 49ers are gold and red and that really does nothing for me.
• As my good friend, Allie, noted, the Raven's Quarterback, Joe Flacco, resembles an actual raven. His hair is black as night, super thick, and forms a widow's peak, much like a raven. His eyebrows are bushy too, further proving he is part bird. It's science. You can't argue with science so that's, that. Oh, and I can yell "Go, Joe" or "Go, Flacco" and it rhymes. Win. 

  

  "I look like a Raven?"

  

  "Dude, that guy looks like my brother."
  

• My dad is rooting for the Ravens and in sports situations, a girlie girl who doesn't know much about football always goes with Dad. A dad would never steer his daughter wrong...on purpose. Note: If the 49ers win, I won't blame my dad as I really don't give a damn about this game, but you didn't hear that from me.
• The Ravens are an actual thing! I'm no dummy. I know a Raven is a bird and a 49er is just some name they came up with for San Francisco b/c all the other good mascots were taken. I think the Elephants are still available. How cool would that be? Or what about the Giraffe? Those beasts can be feisty when they're pissed. You did know their necks weigh 500lbs, right? I think that's more frightening than fools rushing for gold. Note: Form a mascot committee and assume the position of Creative Director.
• The Raven's quarterback is a bit older and someone needs to throw that old bag a bones a big, shiny, Mr. T-like super bowl ring. That young, spark plug, beefcake Kaepernick has plenty of time to shine, and shine he will. If my Super Bowl decision was based on looks, I'd be rooting for the 49ers, but I'm deeper than that and as you can see from this list, I base my decisions on facts, people!

Well, there you have it folks. If you were on the fence regarding who to cheer on from your cozy couch with a beer in hand and queso-filled bellies, I hope my painstakingly thorough research has helped you pick your team. I also hope you realize this post is just to make you laugh and I'm not a degenerate. 

Go, Joe! (see how fun that is!)

Love and shoes,
Kimberly

P.S. This post is dedicated to Allie and Stacy who helped me through my super bowl struggle and for telling me I should blog about my stealthy team-picking strategies;-)