Let me start by saying the Grammys is an awards show where it's allowed and expected for artists to take more fashion risks. It's okay to bring out the sparkles, feathers, fringe, leather, etc. They are musicians that sometimes need to wear an outfit that causes a diversion so people aren't focusing on the fact they can't really carry a tune in a bucket without their synthesizer. Musicians have an image to keep up whenever they are in the public eye b/c they are ENTERTAINERS! Well, last night, I was NOT entertained.
I was really expecting some unique and flashy wardrobe choices but what I got was a lot of forgettable black dresses, a few outlandish costumes, and blah in between. Did someone die that we don't know about? I saw the In Memoriam segment and barely knew a soul so that can't be it. Were they lazy, is everyone having a fat day and wanted to feel slim, or did they just surrender and leave it up to Nicki Minaj and Lady Gaga to take red carpet center stage? Whatever it was, they better step it up next time because I'm in mourning over last night's fashion.
So, in the words of the Black Eyed Peas: "Let's get this party started."
BEST
My standards for best dressed are definitely different than any other red carpet event. I want to see standout looks. I want to see something that really shows the artist's personality but is still fashion forward. Music is such a versatile expression of emotions and I think the fashion should follow suit. Give me glitz. Give me glamor. Give me pizzazz!
First up is Jennifer Lopez. I put her on the list because every great party needs a mirror ball and she fits the bill in human form. String her up, turn up the tunes, activate the fog machine, and let's dance!
P.S. Her shoes are sex on stems. LOVE.
Every songbird needs some feathers and Keri Hilson does just that (at least it looks like a feather). She is so beautiful and has every right to shutdown the haters in her new song, Don't Hate Me Because I'm Beautiful. It's different but wearable. Girlfriend, I can't hate when you give us style like this.
If there was ever a perfect match to Janelle Monae's look, it would be Bruno Mars. He exudes coolness and breathes new life into th Rat Pack look made famous by Sammy Davis, Jr. and Ol' Blue Eyes, Frank Sinatra. He has created an updated look to this classic style and DAMN does he make it look good. Not only does he make his mark in fashion, he is pretty easy on the eyes as well. He can give babies asses around the world a run for their money on the softest skin around. What wrinkle cream does HE use?!?!
I think if Bruno and Janelle ever had a love child it would be one big Pompadour hairdo wearing Ray Ban shades. I like!
Now that we've given props to those who put effort into their looks, let's move on to those who decided to lose their minds and sense of style.
WORST
It pains me to put her on my worst list because she has been my best pick for the past two award shows but something went awry last night. The main focus of the print hits her right in her belly area which only accentuates her tummy. The necklace is very interesting and quite the statement piece given it doubles as a shield for her shoulder, but not with this dress, honey. I don't know if she got too confident and went for something a little more edgy but it failed. Most people can't wear a dress with a design that looks like the eye of the tiger emblazoned on their midsection, and this includes you, Amber.
Rhi-rhi said she practically snatched her dress right off the runway when she saw it. Was it snatched so fast that half of the dress was left behind? Someone should tell her the next time she wants to wear a dress made of tissue paper, she can get a great deal at the dollar store.
It must be hard when your 90 year old grandmother looks more stylish than you do. Katy Perry, Russell Brand, and her 90 year old grandmother were all dressed by Armani but I'm guessing she took it upon herself to add those tacky, costume angel wings. You know that pick-up line where a guy asks a girl "did it hurt?", then she says "did what hurt?" and he closes with "when you fell from heaven." Well, I would ask her the same thing but my closing line would be "when you got beat with the stupid stick."
Oh baby is this bad! I'm sure it's hard to find elegant gowns that make you feel pretty when you are pregnant much less have the energy to even get dolled up and out the door, but thousands of women seem to do it all the time so there is no excuse for Selma Blair using a navy tent as a dress. The scoop neck is so drastic that it makes her Tatas look non existent, and we all know that when you are pregnant, a baby isn't the only thing your body is growing. A v-neck would have looked better with a nice pendant to show off her beautiful neckline. The hem is too long and she doesn't need all that fabric. I think the idea of the dress is nice, but the execution was a fail.
While we are on baby mamas, I just have to share this quick pic of Kate Hudson. What in God's name was she thnking??? It looks like she raided the closet of some 70's disco queen and tried to squeeze into one of her dresses and when it failed, she added some shiney gold straps to keep it from busting.
To keep it consistent, I'm going to end the worst dressed with the men. First up, Ricki Martin. He is so handsome from the waist up and then....from the waist down it falls apart. Why is he wearing astronaut pants from the future? And the shoes just look stupid. You're a father now, Ricki. Lose the tights and get some pants on!
Bringing up the poorly dressed rear is Adam Levine showing us, yet again, he loves his undershirts. We got it. Now wear it UNDER something. However, I'm glad his posse woke him up in just enough time so he could throw on a jacket with sleeves that are too short and pants that were stolen from Oliver the orphan. But it looks like he didn't have that much time since he had to borrow Ricki's shoes apparently. Go back to bed, sleepy head.
GOTTA COMMENT
Monica, you are supposed to take the hanger out of the dress before you put it on. Too boring and stuffy for the Grammys.
Ciara, the Grammy Pocahontas Superhero.
You have to accept the style and courage of Florence Welch. I also really appreciate the detail work on this dress. I think it fits her quirks and all. Plus, she was a total sweetheart on the red carpet. I officially love her and her unique voice.
Lady Gaga was so overrated. I love her and I dig her tunes but arriving in a suppository isn't very glam.
Nicki Minaj is the Queen of the Jungle and of the charts right now. She is outlandish and crazy but I love how she embraces her wild side. Her pink lipstick is a signature look and I love it. It pops and brings the FUN that was missing to this drab carpet. I wouldn't suggest we all lose a battle with a cheetah, but I do enjoy seeing what she has up her sleeve. Although, it's too bad the Bride of Frankenstein rocked that hairdo first.
I think I'm going to wrap up this post with a confession. I, Kimberly Russell, have come down the Bieber Fever. After seeing him on the Grammys and watching him look up to Usher after their performance with a smile that tells me he is so in awe and appreciates everything that has come to him, I. Am. A. Fan.
Oh, and I'm totally going to see his movie. Never say Never!!!
Love and shoes,
Kim
Suppository. BAHAHA!
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